In March 2018 whilst Little Lady Luscious was working on Burlesque Idol an email popped into the idol applications inbox about four days before a heat.  It was the week of the beast from the east.  The application was from Lolly Jones a new burlesque performer with a Theresa May themed act.

“I feel that we’ve amalgamated into one being now.  What will I do when she’s out of office?!”

It began “I know the March heat is on Friday but if you have a spare slot I would love to do it.”  Initial thought was not bloody likely.  Then the beast from the east took hold and the South of England went into meltdown.  Then emails from performers began flooding in “My train has been cancelled”  “I’m snowed in”.  LLL being a northerner was in disbelief.  Those on the reserve list for that month now had plans or were also snowed in.  The day before the show LLL found herself emailing Lolly Jones, “This week is you’re lucky week, can you still do the show?”  Lolly leapt at the chance and went on to win the heat!  Theresa May doing burlesque was a hit!

theresa May in stockings and suspenders

Now that Theresa May (the beast from Eastbourne) is leaving office we put it to the Luscious fans and with a 91% landslide, Lolly Jones/Theresa May will be making her leaving speech at Luscious Cabaret on Friday.  To get you all warmed up and ready for this landmark of a speech read on to find out how Theresa May and Lolly Jones became one …

When you have a day off, what do you do for fun?

Currently, I’m learning how to ride a hoverboard for my next act – Angela Merkel.  She’s so boring that I’m keeping her on the move.   Other than that, I really like going on long country walks and drinking Prosecco with a view.  It’s a welcome change to writing an Edinburgh show.  If I’m in reach of wifi, I’ll just be reading up on Brexit.

How did you choose your stage name?

My stage name chose me!  My real name is Lorna and around fifteen years ago, someone misheard me.  They thought I said Lolly and it stuck.  But mostly I’m just introduced as Theresa May.  I feel that we’ve amalgamated into one being now.  What will I do when she’s out of office?!

What’s the craziest moment you’ve experienced as a performer?

I once did a show in Switzerland where all the electrics blew.  We didn’t have a techy so we just carried on in the dark.  The show was a three person Jekyll and Hyde. They didn’t miss out on much.

What do you love most about the cabaret community?

I’d previously been a stand up for about 6 years so when I crossed over onto the cabaret scene, I couldn’t believe the difference.  Rather than competition and self-deprecation, I’ve been immersed in a fun, supportive, exhilarating world.  I love seeing the props emerge from suitcases and learning how people came up with their bat shit crazy acts!  I love the camaraderie and the unpredictability.  It’s bloody wonderful!

Are you excited to see this love affair come to a close?  Book your seats to London’s most welcoming cabaret!

 

Opening up the application link on the luscious website meant opening up to new and very different styles of performance.  Little Lady Luscious loves it when something drops into the inbox that she has never seen before.  Luscious had never seen anything like Shirley the Middle aged siren and before she even realised she had done it the booked button was clicked.  Welcome another misfit to the Luscious mix who’ll have you giggling into you gin this Friday at Luscious Cabaret.  To give you a wee insight meet Shirley and what she loves about the cabaret …

When you have a day off, what do you do for fun?

Drink tea, eat grapes and swim

How did you choose your stage name?

Shirley came from an ‘S’ name to go with Siren and I was going for a derogatory term that used to be used in Australia for women, but got it wrong – should have been ‘Shelia’ and a cross with the Johnny Cash – a boy named Sue (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gbtm-93oqE) – shows you a bit of how my head works, not terrible well?!

What’s the craziest moment you’ve experienced as a performer?

Too many to name, but most recent was when I was hired to be ‘Cat in the Hat’ for a school open day, but I was being driven by someone who is dyslexic and I’m dyslexic and we weren’t given the full address of where we needed to be, so we didn’t notice the difference between Lingfield and Lindfield – who knew there were 2 such closely named places?!

What do you love most about the cabaret community?

You guys are like my broken beautiful self

Are you ready to dive in and book your tickets to London’s most welcoming cabaret right here

We are loving the sunshine here at Luscious HQ and we can’t wait to jump into June and have more Luscious fun and games with our wonderful audience.  This Luscious Line up is all set to entertain and delight  Get ready for the giggles at the “loveliest cabaret in town!” on Friday 7th June …

June Line Up with words

Proving age is just a number is the awesome Lynn Ruth Miller

Falling from above with a bump and grind is the enchanting Celeste Étoile 

 

This one is giving us a tooth ache she’s so sweet it’s the sensational Miss Sugar Rush

Bringing a bit of controversy to Luscious is the fabulous Dinona Pussay 

First runner up in Aprils Burlesque Idol heat and all set us alight is Felina Onyx

We’ve got a veritable vixen in the form of Victoria Rose.

Strumming on her Uke and getting you all hot and bothered is Olivia Jannesson

Luring us in with her prolific song is Shirley the Middle Aged Siren

Bringing the sass and the sultry together is the epic Scarlett O’Hora

All hosted by the person who likes us all to think they don’t have a heart but they really do its TV’s Paulus!

Buy your tickets via …

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It will take a superhero to save us from what is happening in UK politics.  With this in mind we decided we needed some superhero powers to inspire us and get us ready for Luscious Cabaret next week.  Our performers are already heroes on stage but if they had a super power what would it be?  Little Lady Luscious would want the power to transport from one place to the next.  The four flights of stairs up to her flat would be much easier manage, and think of all of those people she could save from oncoming London traffic.  The possibilities are endless.  Enough about Luscious what super power would our Magnificent Ten performers want …

Fully April Line Up

Bolly Ditz Dolly

I love this question! I ‘d want the power to build, kind of like in the lego movie when everyone starts creating with objects around them and everyone has a good time! I’d love to build the bridges that a toxic world has tried to break down, I want to build glitter shelters, crazy sculptures, espresso machines and a 4×4 box wall around Trump, sealed with maybe a letterbox to post facts . The possibilities are endless!

Dolly Master

Zee Zee Stardust 

My power would be Mimicry (why have one power ,when you can take everyone else’s powers)

Mimicry

Ms Larissa Thorne

I’d like the power to speak with animals because, to be frank, people really get on my tits.

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Carmen Mon Oxide

Superpower? Not bothered about a superpower but I do love a good cape! Actually I’ll have flying please. Always wanted to arrive onto stage by air!

Flying Firebird

Miss Suzy Saucepot

If I had super power it would be to literally save the planet from the human race who are destroying wildlife, nature and other human beings!

Eco warrior

Diva Regina

The power of Mind Control so I could make Theresa May cancel Brexit, any idea how I can develop that?!

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Kiki Mellék

I already have a super power Bibshkis! I defy the law of nature. I’m ageless Darlings – that’s the best super power to have. That and a psychic nipple!

Sparkly nipple

We seem to be missing a few superpowers.  We’ll be chasing them up and updating the post to complete our Magnificent Ten.  In the meantime you can book your tickets for a ‘Super Powered’ Cabaret in London on Friday 5th April via the button below …

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The fate of Brexit maybe in the balance but here at Luscious HQ we are more concerned about leaving the worries of the world behind and having a fun and fabulous night out on the first Friday of the month.  We’ve gone overboard with the fabulous, added a soupçon of comedy and with Paulus away we’ve got the outrageous Carmen Mon Oxide at the helm.  Friday nights are all about the fun so come and join the Friday fun times at Luscious Cabaret on 5th April.  Entertaining you we have …

Ruffling a few feathers it’s the vivacious and flirtatious Trash Valentine!

Bendy to the extreme Miss Suzy Saucepot will leave you hot under the collar.

On the look out for an affluent sugar daddy is the delightful Ms Larissa Thorne

Praying for this Brexit nightmare to end is the multilingual extravaganza Diva Regina

Showing off her marvellous set of lungs is the fabulous  Lacey Noire

The fierce warrior that is Bolly Ditz Dolly will be shimmying her way to the Luscious Stage

Is it She-Ra or is it Ginger spice?  No it’s the rib – tickling Holly Dunn Something

Sending us in to a tailspin is the  very regal Zee Zee Stardust.

Back by popular demand and to show off her new skills its the inimitable Kiki Mellék

Yes we have packed the line up this month!  Tickets are already 50% sold.  If you’re ready to dive in and have an awesome, fun filled, ridiculous and fabulous night out book your tickets via the button below …

The weather is on the turn once again, but we’re keeping things bright and breezy here at Luscious Cabaret.  We’ve got one glitzy and glamourous line up on March 1st and we can’t wait!  We’ll be keeping you warm and cosy at The Albany Great Portland Street!

Getting us all hot under the collar is Miss Cherry On Fire!

Power Ballads at the ready with Yasmine Day!

Taking a break from the apothecary is Mariposa Bop

Twirling her way on to the Luscious stage is Belle De Beauvoir

Clowning around is the wonderful Christian Brighty

Getting our pulses racing is the delightful Mimi Sugarpill

Causing a stir and and styling it out is the amazing Cerise Rei

And finally the Queen Bee herself Onyx Fatale – Yes we’ve got Miss Burlesque Idol 2018!!

All hosted by TV’s Paulus!!

To book your tickets head on over to Design My Night via the button below!

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As Little Lady Luscious is in New Zealand it occurred to us that it’s been 10 years since she did her first course in burlesque.  To celebrate we’ve decided to put together an all luscious line up for our February show.  Featuring past luscious students and a couple of team luscious favs!  Scroll down to find out more …

 

He’s been singing his sea shanties at the Luscious Burlesque Night since it all began it’s our Luscious Favourite Admiral John!

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Storming her way through the burlesque scene as one of it’s best stage managers.  We’re giving her a bit of tea break this time it’s Stormina Teacup!

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One of our very first Luscious Gentlemen it’s the very debonair Vince Moon!

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You’ll of met her on the door on many occaisons but on the 1st of Feb we welcome to the Luscious Cabaret stage for the first time Allegra Whispers.

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Geeking out to all things fabulous it’s Chalkilicious!

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As part of the Delicious Dames the smokin’ Donna Divine returns with Little Lady Luscious

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Luscious favourite and co consipritor on the Luscious Burlesque Course it’s Trixi Tassels!

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And finally the compere keeping us all in our place it’s the fantabulous Paulus!

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Grab your tickets via Design My Night for one Luscious Night Out!

 

Happy Halloween to you all! Now instead of asking a Halloween related question of our cast this month, Little Lady Luscious decided to ask them why they started performing.  Here’s what they had to say …

 

Betty Bootay

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“I have always loved to dance and whilst I was living in Japan I realised how much I loved to perform too (during my endless hours of karaoke!). I love the way that burlesque can be anything you want it to be whilst allowing you to be confident with your body no matter your shape or size.”

 

 

The Topless Tappers – Bootsy Bonafonté & Storm Hooper

The Topless Tappers

 

Bootsy started performing burlesque because Little Lady Luscious seduced her with her Luscious ways, whilst Storm Hooper was busy hooping her way across the planet. The Cabaret Gods brought the two of them together, they had no choice 😊

 

 

Good Ness Gracious

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I have been a performer ever since I put on a pair of Angel wings for the nursery nativity and dropped baby Jesus. The reason I have continued to perform is because I love to make people laugh. I hope I manage it.

 

Carmen Mon Oxide

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I started performing professionally while I was away travelling in Australia. I couldn’t find a job so I started singing on the street and making a few quid. Then I did get a job. In a call centre. I was the worst. I drank so much tea that I needed to go to the toilet as much as possible and called the people that I knew wouldn’t answer the phone. My supervisor was so rude to me (for being so bad) that I just decided to quit there and then. I shouted to the whole room ‘I’m leaving to become a singer!’, and I did. I’ve never looked back!
Lady Lylith De Havland
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Because I love making people laugh it’s good for the soul
Vul Varine
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Cos I have too much to say!
Join us on Friday for all of the Luscious fun and to recover from the Halloween hangover!  Book your tickets via the button below ….
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It’s May The Fourth!!! And that can only mean one thing.  Luscious Cabaret is ready to play at The Albany!  We can’t wait to entertain you all tonight.  And today we meet our final performer the awesome Diane Spencer!!!

1. Lets get straight to it, Star Wars or Star Trek?  Star Trek – sorry!  But it was the thing I always watched when I got home from school!  Plus I found that the first three films of Star Wars didn’t have many characters I could really relate to, whereas Star Trek the Next Generation had Beverly Crusher – lady doctor and redhead.
 
2. What was your inspiration for your may the fourth routine?  I’m a standup comedian by trade and I take inspiration from real life.  Life is always changing and happening, and if you’re half paying attention you’ll have an emotional reaction to it, and that’s where I start.  What I’m doing is essentially my usual set, however I’ve modified it slightly in keeping with this exciting and special event.  Other than that, it’s a secret… 🙂
3. Do you believe in alien life?  Yes of course, the universe is huge, and even if we are the only sentient ones, which I very much doubt, there’s at least going to be some moss or sea creatures out there.
4.Your fav star wars character and why?  Tricky.  Hans Solo cos he’s funny and good looking, but then again I really like that new Jedi Rey, she seems to have her head screwed on correctly.  Any character that shows a flicker of a sense of humour always wins with me.  
5.What do you enjoy about themed cabaret/burlesque nights?  The costumes!  I love the fact that the experience becomes immersive.
6. Fav star wars film  I guess, Return of the Jedi was great, but The Force Awakens was very very good too, but then considering what happens to one of my favourite characters, maybe not so much.
7. Talk us through your costume, did you make it, buy it? if you made it how easy was it/what were the challenges? What inspired you to use this costume.  This is a secret, you will have to come to the night.  Though I will say I attend comic cons and the stormtrooper and wookie outfits I see there are absolutely stunning.
 
8.Would you have crawled in your dead tauntauns belly?  Ew, no. Neither did Luke!  He was pushed.
9. If you could perform at another themed night, what would you like it to be?  Fifth Element – love the costumes!  Or perhaps a zombie themed night, like Resident Evil.
To find out what Diane will be wearing tonight come to The Albany.  Online tickets available until 4:30pm or you can buy tickets on the door.

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