Meet Chalkalicious!

The Luscious Burlesque Show is tonight and we are just so excited this morning. We’ve already started getting ready, yeah the show doesn’t start until 8pm but we just can’t help ourselves.

In the mean time we’ve been chatting to the stage manager for tonight, Chalkalicious.

You’re going to be stage managing the Luscious Burlesque Show this week, are you excited?

Excited? By a pain in my arse dragging me out of the house, just to help out a bunch of dancers prancing about in their pants? I was more excited by the last time I cleaned out my belly button fluff.

Can you explain, briefly, what a stage manager does and why it’s an important role?

Makes sure shit runs to plan. Prepares the acts, organises them, readies them, cleans up after them, listens to their bollocks, keeps them sober and gets insufficient gratitude. Basically I’m the most important thing in the show.

What do you think you can bring to this role?

Gravitas, efficiency and a sense of fucking proportion.

Traditionally, the stage manager gets a hard time from the host, do you have a plan for dealing with your psychological well-being during the show?

Bring it on, it ain’t nothing compared to the shit I’ve seen in my life. I give as good as I get. Step to me, I dare you.

Your normal burlesque persona is, how can I say, terrifying. Will you be drawing on this persona as you stage manage?

Someone has to maintain order. Have you ever been backstage at a burlesque show? It’s fucking bedlam, like the last days of Sodom and Gomorrah. Sometimes fear and threats of torturous violence are the only way to get through to these so-called fucking ‘artistes’.

You are a luscious graduate, do you have any advice for this set of graduates for their debut?

This is one of the most important moments of your life. You’ve got one chance. Everyone will be staring at you and judging you, so don’t fuck it up. What? Why are you crying?


You can see Chalkalicious in action tonight at the Cavendish Arms. Get your tickets here or pay on the door.